My teen has been leaning nonbinary through adolescence and recently came out explicitly to my spouse and I. We’ve always been allies and queer-affirming, but my spouse seems to be struggling with having a child who is not cis — not opposed, just lost. And I have to acknowledge that I am probably ignorant of the issues a young nonbinary person might face.

I don’t want to just be “good enough”. I want to be supportive to my child. Are there any good resources for parents in this situation? Places to read about the struggles and experiences they are going to face?

  • Evkob (they/them)@lemmy.ca
    18·
    19 days ago

    Honestly, by asking here you’re already way ahead of like 99% of people in your situation.

    I think openness to learning/listening is key, which you seem to have going for you, but I’d recommend an approach where you state your openness and let them come to you with that information when they’re comfortable to. Example; instead of asking “do you have new pronouns?” just say “if you want to try out new pronouns, let me know!”, that kind of thing.

  • TheHonorableT@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    9·
    19 days ago

    One thing that I would recommend is to be curious! If they are open to it, ask questions about their journey and how it feels. Try to focus on them and their journey, and avoid asking questions about embys as a whole.

    I came out to my parents over a year ago, and they haven’t mentioned it or asked a question about it since. I’m moved out, so I only see them in video calls every week or two. Now I’m gearing up to bring it up again, and it’s almost more difficult than the initial coming out experience was.

    There are a lot of us, and each of us are different in our journeys, presentation, pronouns, and dysphoria or lack thereof. Some are bigender and some are agender.

    Try to learn how to love them and help them to feel safe and grow into their best authentic self.

    • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.netOP
      7·
      19 days ago

      Some are bigender and some are agender.

      Thank you for this note. They seem to have a good sense of their own gender, it just doesn’t match to “male” or “female” for them. I’ll take your suggestion to be curious and ask instead of supposing, though.

  • NightFantom@slrpnk.net
    8·
    19 days ago

    (Disclaimer: no experience with nonbinary children, but I do have a trans sister fwiw)

    Have you asked them? They probably did already find some resources that helped them figure themselves out that you may like. In addition they might not want you to make a big deal out of it, or maybe they do want to make it a big deal?

    Good luck to you and them!